[G Times] Politics and Current Affairs / Original Skit: Let Russia on Fire

Translator: Lish

Proofreader: Janyvo

Editor:Wenhong

Image source: Melbourne Athena Farm Design Group (Jing Lin Lan)

Link: 【G时评】链接

 1.

One year, Dr. Fauci went to Changsha, after drinking some Moutai and taking sauna, he went to the Fire Palace to party more with the locals.

Suddenly, he noticed a strange smell…

Dr. Fauci took a deep breath and asked: ‘who farted?’

His companions all looked at each other, no one dared to admit that they farted.

A smart local official quickly stepped forward and said, “Report Dr. Fauci, that wasn’t a fart smell, that’s from our local delicacy at the Fire Palace known as “stinky tofu.”

“Stinky tofu?” As a scientist, Fauci was naturally curious: “Let’s go and check it out!”

So the group walked up to the vendor selling the stinky tofu.

“This is our great Dr. Fauci, serve him the stinkiest tofu you have here.”

The vendor is a wise guy. As the Fire Palace is a great cultural attraction, he is frequented by western customers on almost a daily basis.  But business is business, to which he took most sincerely.  So he attentively hand-picked a freshly baked, the most stinky piece of stinky tofu and handed it to Fauci.

Dr. Fauci ate it, and no surprise, it smelled very awful but tasted divine. “You guys in China are amazing!”

Since then, Dr. Fauci has been most impressed with the beauty, nay, the stinky tofu, of the Fire Palace.

Even after Dr. Fauci returned to the United States, he still found that Fire Palace trip simply unforgettable.

And one day, Dr. Fauci was craving for stinky tofu again and he wanted it so badly.  But how?

Being a great scientist, surely he is clever!  He came up with a brilliant idea.  He took off his socks, put them right under his nose, gently closed his eyes, then took a long deep breath:

“Ah …… this is the taste precisely…”

2.    

A heroine started to fight against the hooligan with all her tactics.

The hooligan became paranoid and called out: Stop! Stop! Stop! Why don’t you follow the rules?

The heroine: How can you say that I am not following the rules?

The hooligan: You are a righteous person; how can you be a scoundrel?

The heroine:  Who said that righteous people cannot be a scoundrel? When you began attacking in a gang,  then why should my fighting posture matter?

[Note: The hooligan refers to the CCP and its running dogs, the heroine refers to the righteous force of the western world.]

3. 

A reporter asked Biden:  Why did you cut off the U.S.-Canada pipeline?

Biden:  Oil pipeline, how unsafe is that! What happens if it causes fire?

Reporter:  Then why did you allow Russia to build a European gas pipeline?

Biden: Let Russia on fire…

4. 

A reporter asked Biden:  1+1+?

Biden:  2

Reporter:  But when two people voted, how can there be three votes?

Biden:  @#¥%……&*

5. 

A reporter asked Biden: How much of the $1.9 trillion pandemic relief package will be actually spent on the pandemic?

Biden:  About 1%-5%.

Reporter:  Then that’s deceiving!

Biden:  Young man, have you ever seen a wife in a wife-cake?  Is there a moon in a moon-cake? Is there democracy in the Democratic Party? Is there justice in the Department of Justice? Is there freedom in a free world? Is there rule of law in a country governed by the rule of law?

[Note: there is a type of cake in China called “wife-cake”]

6. 

It is said that Tsinghua University has deciphered a swipe technology, someone then printed out Pelosi’s photo and swiped it against the phone, the result showed: the user is not in the service area.

The person then asked: Where is the user?

Answer: Hell…

7. 

A foreigner who is not very fluent in Chinese, asking Banruo: When Wang Yi said that the U.S.-China relationship should bo Luan fan zheng (“拨乱反正”), does it mean to stirring up (“拨乱”) the U.S.-China relationship,  and opposing normal (“反正”) diplomacy?

Banruo:  smart boy

[Note: The actual meaning of 拨乱反正(bo Luan fan zheng) is to eliminate chaos and restore normalcy]

 8. 

Banruo:Lower-class drinks white wine, offers empty cheques, touches white legs; Middle-class plays with real estate, plays with cars, plays with bills; and Upper-class toys with treasury, toys with state flowers, toys with the country… Which class do you belong to?

Giselle:I’m from the female-class…

 9. 

Question:What does it mean to have zero carbon emissions?

Answer:It is similar to the emperor recruiting young men to become eunuchs in the palace by promoting all the benefits of being a eunuch.  And after being castrated, the eunuch too goes around fooling others: you see, it’s better to have it removed, weight even reduced by a few grams.

(The above content is purely for fun, do not check in or cross-reference to yourself)

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